I'm so ready for change...in every aspect of my life its driving me nuts. I have become so complacent in the situation I'm in, it's horrible.
Living at home with my great family, working the same place I've worked all through high school, but never seeing anyone other than those people...my family and co-workers. Its driving me nuts and I've gotta get out. Its just time, really.
I've already done so much more with my life than I ever thought I'd get to do. I've lived so much, so fast, so young, and now I'm 22 sitting here writing and trying to figure out what's next for me. For a while, I thought maybe going back to school would fix things, but over time, I've just come to realize my heart isn't in it. God has a bigger plan for me, and I'm trying to figure out what that plan is and live it. Unfortunately, I'm getting impatient.
I'm ready for an adventure again...some excitement. Something dare I say - different!
I've spent the last month ready. I'm only about $900 from being able to be completely paid off with the money I owe on my credit card.
My mom keeps saying that I should go to LA, and as much as I hate the idea of living out there, I'm considering it. Why? Maybe because I'm trying to find happiness? Unfortunately, the people in this city that I deal with on a daily basis absolutely suck and I'd really like to be around people my age that have similar goals and passions. Is that so much to ask?
I miss living on a bus. I miss my friends. I miss what for two years was an amazing normality. Maybe I need to pack up my car, and drive across the country to find myself.
Life is too short and I don't wanna miss out on anything - my family's life or MINE. It's not fair to either of us, really. I need an escape from every day life.
Do I regret not going to school right away and going down the road less traveled to pursue my dreams? Absolutely not. What if I've already gotten to live my dream though? Then what? This can't be it. There's gotta be more...I know there is. I have faith. I just need someone or something to actually come through for once.
It's been a long time since I've felt like things were going how I wanted. Maybe I'm too picky but I don't feel like you should have to settle. Everyone is always telling me "that's life"....but is it? Why should we just accept things? Why not challenge them and shake things up? Isn't that what life is about...jumping...taking chances...breaking the mold? That's always what I believed. That's still what I believe.
I just need someone else to believe that with me. I'm not sure how much sense I'm making really, but it feels good to write it out.
I guess we'll see what happens.